When the joy is absent from giving.

As someone who owns a fundraising consulting firm, has managed many capital campaigns and annual appeals,trained hundreds of volunteers and as a donor to many worthy organizations in my community I firmly subscribe to the old adage about the "joy of giving"! I teach it, I write about it, it's in my proposals and in this particular case I really do think giving, when done properly, is fantastic - A true joy!

However there is a form of giving that I am forced to participate in that lacks any real joy. This is that neato solicitation from my clients!

Yes those wonderful clients who you've taught so well, trained on building a case, trained on the proper ask, trained on the proper timing of the ask-who invite you to lunch (that I ultimately pay for)and somewhere between the lobster bisque and the healthy fish of the day they slide a "really neat sponsorship" "worthy raffle" "great anniversary book" "incredible golf tournament flag sponsorship" "high profile advertisement in informative directory" "lunch sponsor at their event which they refuse to let me speak at" giving opportunity!

This solicitation, of course, comes with almost no explanation, no discussion of what the money is being used for, no pitch on the case. No head fake in my direction to pretend that I might be interested in the actual project. Just that sorta half smile, slightly awkward yet expectant slide across the table of the important information!

I know this comes off as another half rant/complaint and it is meant to! I am after all whining rather vigorously. However I do believe there is a lesson here. A lesson for me as a fundraising professional, a lesson for me as a business owner and an important lesson for my clients. Never take your relationships for granted. It doesn't matter how much you've done for a client, or they've done for you, how much you as the school or church have done for the donor-how many favors, extra effort or special exceptions you may have made.

At the end of the day giving is a deeply personal and emotional experience. When someone signs that check they want to feel good, they want to feel appreciated, they want to feel that their gift was needed. Appreciate your donors (all of them, even those that "should" give) always make your case, always approach the ask as if this were a first time solicitation.

As I said NO to a major sponsorship today it was as if a small light popped on in the deep recesses of my fundraising/business/emotional brain. "No mas!" Do it right, ask properly or "No mas!"